Judge Not? Is that Really What we Are to Do?

By Judith Costello

The priest who gave a Mission talk at our church talked about the whole issue of "judgment." It was helpful to me as I read the online discussions among Catholics about Fr. Guarnizo from Washington, DC. He’s the one who withheld communion from a Buddhist lesbian activist. The woman introduced herself and her lover to the priest before Mass, making their status clear. The priest explained to the entire congregation the conditions for reception of communion at a funeral Mass and apparently he had something of a conversation with this woman as well while they were in the sacristy. But the woman still felt she “deserved” to receive the Eucharist. When the priest quietly refused it, she went to a different line and received communion anyway. Then she went to the press to make life difficult for this priest.

Many of these kinds of situations remind me of family life. God gives us families as a microcosm of society so we can learn to make judgment calls like this priest was forced to make.

I remember a situation that happened to me. I was living in sin with a boyfriend, and I brought him home to meet Mom. Should she have said, “Well it’s not my job to judge. The Bible says ‘judge not, lest you be judged.’ So I’ll just give you one bedroom since that’s what you choose.” Would that have been the right the thing to do?

Well my mom didn’t think so. She said, “You may be living together, but not in my house. I won’t have that here. Here are two bedrooms. I expect you to sleep in your respective bedrooms alone.” She couldn’t change my lifestyle outside of her house. About that she was praying hard. But she certainly had a moral obligation to hold me accountable while in her house.

We can't condemn the souls of others. The state of their relationship with God is none of our business. That’s what the Bible passage means. But that is totally different from telling a child, "Don't do that. And what you just did was wrong." We as Catholic parents are morally obligated to tell our children they are living in a state of sin if they move in with a partner.

We should be gentle. We should accompany any correction with lots of prayer. God will move the soul to conversion. But we are called to be a light to the world, a voice for Truth.

As a priest, Father had a moral obligation to point out to this woman that she couldn't receive communion since she was introducing him to her active lifestyle without contrition. Had she not announced this to him, he says he would “assume good faith when a Catholic presents himself (herself) for communion; like most priests I am not at all eager to withhold communion.” But given that she announced her lifestyle and was not a member of the parish, Father was acting as any priest should. And as any "parent" should.

Too many of us say, "Well my friend is going in for an abortion, but I don't want to judge her. So I’m not going to say anything." Certainly if we hear about this after the fact, we can’t say, “You’re a sinner.” But we could say, “If you need someone to talk to about having made that decision, I’m happy to talk. I can also refer you to someone for counseling.”

We don't judge the state of her soul, but we do point out the immoral. To not act, when we have the opportunity, when a door is opened for conversation—that is sinful.

Sadly, we live in wishy-washy times. According to the world, there is only "my truth and your truth." I remember hearing that in school. It was what I believed back when I was living with that fellow I brought home to Mom. I wanted to define “right and wrong” for myself.

But my mother did the Right thing. Her ultimatum, “If you want one bed, you can’t sleep here,” made me embarrassed. But it was the challenge I needed to hear. And her constant prayers were what turned my life around.

We have an obligation to speak on behalf of God’s law within our circles of influence. And that will make a difference. Let’s pray for Fr. Guarnizo and all those involved in that situation. Father has been removed from priestly duties in response to his action. From the information available, that seems very wrong. So we will pray for our whole Church that our bishops and Cardinals will stand up against the pressures of the world that would re-define family.

Let us pray…and speak out.

This is a link to Fr. Guarnizo’s explanation of what happened: http://cnsnews.com/news/article/father-marcel-guarnizo-i-did-only-thing-faithful-catholic-priest-could-do

The Enduring Lesson

The man scoffed when I mentioned I was going to Mass. There was venom in his eyes. “How can you be a Catholic? That church is just a bunch of hypocrites and pedophiles.”

We’ve all heard that kind of thing. And I find it odd. Even though our culture doesn’t condemn public education because of the wrong doing of some teachers; and the culture doesn’t condemn the postal service just because some employees have “gone postal;” our culture likes to bash the entire Catholic Church over the wrongdoings of some priests or over the hypocrisy of some who sit in the pews.

But the truth is that every social or religious institution contains both the good and the bad. The history of the Judeo-Christian faith is a story of leaders who have gone astray and times when the Chosen People turned their backs on God. It is a see-saw history. One minute the people are following God and obeying His laws. They are humble, contrite and worshipful. The next minute they have abandoned their faith and are singing to idols.

As for leaders of faith, the story isn’t much better. In the Old Testament, David was a great leader and wrote powerful psalms. But then he lusted for a neighbor’s wife and arranged to have her husband killed. That’s pretty atrocious behavior! And his son, Solomon, was sought after as the wisest man in history. Yet he married numerous pagan wives and was responsible for the growth of idol worship in his country.

Then in the New Testament, we hear about Peter. In the reading this Sunday we heard that Peter recognized Jesus as the Messiah, the Savior and the Son of God. It was a profound leap of faith to state this belief out loud. Yet, when Jesus tells His followers that He will suffer and die as a part of the plan of Salvation, Peter says, “Oh no. We won’t let that happen.” The words sound like a worldly temptation to Jesus and Peter is severely rebuked.

The point is: progress in faith tends to follow the pattern of 2-1=1 growth. We take two steps forward and one step backward. When toddlers are learning to walk they take a few steps and then go back to crawling. Then they’ll walk for awhile with great independence and the next thing we know, they are reaching up asking to be carried!

We make progress, and then we sin. This is not big news. What is profoundly true, and awe-inspiring, is that our church perseveres. In spite of sin and persecution, in spite of hypocrisy and a few bad leaders, the church keeps on going. As the body of Christ, the church has existed for 2000 years and it will exist until the end of time!

We don’t go to church to be inspired by a powerful, charismatic priest. We don’t go to church to show off our goodness or bask in the powerful goodness of the other people. We certainly don’t go to church because we are people who never sin. Instead, we come before the only One deserving of worship to beg His forgiveness. We go to church for guidance from His words and through His sacraments.

I am proud to be a member of the church begun by Christ so long ago which shines a light in our world today.

So the next time someone says, “How can you be a Catholic when they are all a bunch of hypocrites” you can say, “We are all less than perfect people. I go to church for the help I need to be better.”

Beware: Cancerous Soup for the Soul is Doled out Daily!

By Judith Costello

All the feel good books are have titles about Soup for the Soul…stories meant to be warm and comforting, reassuring and easy to swallow. But this is Lent…time for a tougher look.

It’s time to consider how cancer grows in the Soul. Fr. Larry called sin a “cancer” last weekend. He said we should be able to diagnose this “sickness” just like we diagnose the physical stages of a spreading cancer. (This is my version of that concept.)

Stage 1: Unchecked Emotion.To Heck with Faith and Reason. I FEEL Bad—The modern world recognizes feelings over reason. I was thinking about this when I heard a young woman who whined between every meal, because she had decided to fast from between-meal snacking. Since she was used to snacking all the time, she felt grouchy. And no matter how much anyone pointed out the purpose of fasting and the value of discipline, she continued to punish everyone around her with her grouchiness.

It’s easy to see from the outside of this situation, that the purpose of fasting is defeated if we have to tell the world how hard it is! But the same thing happens to all of us and it’s not at all humorous. We are irritated and let it show. We feel envious and try not to show it at the moment. But then we gossip about that person later on.

Emotions are meant to be just the “garnish on the plate.” They add color but they should never be the main course! Unleashing our emotions, allowing them free reign, guarantees the spread of a cancer in the soul. The main course on the plate of our lives should be faith.

Faith requires self discipline in order for it to nourish us.

Stage 2: Rationalization.
Once the emotions go unchecked then the devil offers lots of easy rationalizations. One of the best rationalizations among church-goers is: “God loves us so of course he doesn’t want us to suffer. He certainly doesn’t care if we eat between meals. This whole fasting thing is just something made up by stuffy old guys.” I’ve heard it said. And I have to admit I used to use the “God is love, and a loving, nice-guy God wouldn’t expect this.” We have lost perspective.

It helped me when I started to really study the Catechism and prayer. Our job is to get to know God. And yes He is Love. But the love He demonstrates is all about sacrifice. Love is not easy. Love is not a feel good, chicken-soup thing. Love is the cross.

The season of Lent is a wake-up call about avoiding Stage 2 Cancer of the Soul.

Stage 3: The Blame Game.
Adam said, “It was Eve’s fault.” And Eve blamed it on the serpent. So I guess we can blame the “blame game” on our original parents! It is very easy to unload our responsibility. There is always an excuse.

Someone else led us here. Or it’s our upbringing. Or something someone else said caused this reaction.

But sin is sin. We are responsible for our actions and responsible for making a U-turn when Stage 3 Soul Cancer has taken over our lives.

Stage 4: From One Sin to Another.
Once the door to sin is open, sin snowballs. The tools of the first three stages are in place. Like physical cancer it now starts to take over in more severe ways. Excuses, desires and scapegoats provide the necessary equipment. Now it’s just a smooth ride of self-indulgence.

I’m sure that’s how people, who appear to be good, decent folks, end up stealing millions from an employer. All it takes is this—Never Tell the Truth. That person never admits to “stealing,” it’s only been a process of “re-directing.” It is not “lying” it’s “telling a different truth.”

Stage 4 Soul Cancer can be fatal. Once this sin cancer begins to grow, the road to health is a battle.

But there is good news. The Savior came for just such souls.

Now is the time. Today is the day. Resolve to make the Lent a time for these things:
• Truth Telling
• Personal Responsibility
• Confession and Sacraments
• and a Renewal of Faith.