Time to Unplug

Am I a voice calling into the wind? I wonder if anyone can hear me? If you stop by for a moment at this page, I hope you will listen.

Reaching our children by marketing new “apps,” creating rap songs for them to download on various gadgets and offering new cartoon/realistic video games could be adding to an already serious problem.

The IDOL of our world is technology. It replaces God for many young people. They are deeply devoted to their gadgets. They cannot live without them. They keep them close at hand and bow to them throughout the day.

Once our children are obsessed with technology, we face the danger that they will become addicted to it--compulsively turning to it without self control. I wrote about this before...scroll don't to my blog on addiction.

I know I sound like a fanatic. My friends remind me of the good things. Our kids have access to instant information. As a study tool, the internet is a marvel. As a communication tool, the internet takes us far beyond what was once only a dream. Through the internet, my son was able to email people in Poland for his history project. He tracked down the phone number of a man in Prague. The world is smaller and readily accessible as a result of technology.

But the problems I am talking about are very serious. We, as parents, must be on guard. The internet, cellphones, Ipads and earbuds should not be made available to kids who are not yet of school age. Fast flashing images, sound waves going directly into their ears, pop-ups advertizing, bizarre content alongside educational content…these are things that cannot be good for children.

The world of modern technology creates a fantasy world. People from far away seem to be near and they are often not what they seem. Images on the screen are so vivid and appealing, that the real world pales in comparison. The stuff that pops up is vulgar and dehumanizing. Yet it’s there alongside the educational stuff. What blares into the kids ears is seductive.

Meanwhile, our Lord, receives less and less consideration. Technology has created a new world and the holder of the gadget plays God. Even the “apps” about Jesus cannot replace real prayer. Video games of Bible stories cannot replace hearing Mom or Dad read the Word of God. Sweepingly beautiful websites are not sacramental.

How are we going to make the world of God’s creation relevant to young people again?

Isn’t it time to practice “unplugging” just to see what life is really about? Give it a try. Take a week break. And let me know how it goes!!

First Communion is Just the Beginning

It was a beautiful day. Sixteen nervous kids held out shaking hands to receive their First Communion last weekend. As a teacher preparing students for this day, I tell them they are becoming tabernacles for Jesus. They will receive Jesus in a way unlike any other.

Yes, Jesus is always with us and we receive his grace in the sacraments of Baptism and Reconciliation. We can hear his words in the Gospels and we can talk to him in prayer. But there is nothing like receiving him as the Bread of Life. There is nothing like becoming a tabernacle.

However, the sad reality is that some of the young people who receive the Eucharist for the first time, won’t receive Jesus again for a long time. Too many families see First Communion as the beginning and the end of their obligation for faith formation.

These young people who are so excited on this day, and feel the glow of love for Jesus, are like delicate new buds pushing up out of the ground of the secular world. Their experience is fragile and tentative. It needs to be nourished by weekly reception of the sacrament of the Eucharist. When parents make a big deal out of First Communion and then make excuses for not going to Mass on Sundays after that, they send a mixed message.

The message seems to be that “only the first time is important. Then, if you receive Jesus again once a year, that’s enough.” The bud doesn’t open. The flower wilts.

It is so important that our children see a love, respect and hunger for the Eucharist in their parents. Then their curiosity leads them to desire. And desire leads to deeper prayer and understanding.

One time is not enough. Tabernacle literally means “temporary dwelling place.” If we are to keep Jesus close to us, we need to invite him into the tabernacle of our bodies on a weekly basis.

Then, the tabernacle will glow with his presence. And the flowers unfold in loveliness!

(The photo is my daughter Brigit, at her First Communion in 2008.)

Beware: Technology Addiction is Real

Our society has made technology into a god. If you don’t believe you are susceptible to this violation of the First Commandments, consider these questions:
• Do you carry your cellphone with you wherever you go, even when it is not needed? Do you keep it close by at night?
• Do you send text messages even when you should be doing something else? Do you sneak around to send messages?
• Do you stay up late, answering email, texting, etc.?
• Do you think about texting or social networking or your apps, throughout the day?
• Do you check Facebook, Twitter, etc. during meetings, at school, while cooking, etc.?
• Do you spend significant amounts of money on technology even though it is not necessary for your work?
• Do you have a sense that you couldn’t live without technology?

Consider these same questions for your children. Are your children, even as young as 8, spending significant hours absorbed with cellphones, visiting social network sites or playing elaborate virtual reality games?

The word “addiction” comes from Latin and means “surrendering to something that becomes habit-forming and creates a sense of withdrawal when it is denied.” It is a process of becoming enslaved to a substance of thing. Do you want to be controlled by your cellphone?

Recently, I heard a youth leader telling a group of kids they would have to leave their cellphones at home during a weekend retreat. More than a few of the teens whispering, “There is no way that’s happening.” But they weren’t worried. They have learned how to be sneaky (and that is sure sign of addiction.)

An addiction that leads to sneaky behavior is dishonest. It is a sin. And lying is the doorway to other forms of serious sin.

What if we surrendered to God instead of surrendering to technology? The answers to the questions above would be very different.

• I am aware that Jesus is present, walking close to me throughout my day, so I talk to Him. He knows me. He is with me. He is trustworthy.
• I say prayers when I begin every activity. I want to do His will, not my will.
• I offer myself to God and ask Him to use me for His purpose. I surrender to Him.
• I am detached from the things of this world. How unimportant and insignificant technology is! The blinders are off now. I see that phones, cameras and computers are merely tools. I will not let these things enslave me. Instead, I stand before the Almighty One, the Holy One, the Merciful One and ask for help!
• All life comes from Him. My “thank you” for this gift is to offer my life to Him. As Jesus said, “Let it be done onto me, according to thy will.”

Consider--do you have an addiction? Are you ready to change? The time is now.

KNOW HIM!

I tell my Sunday School students, “”If your grandma lived 2000 miles away, would you only call her once a year and begin the conversation by begging for birthday gifts?” They usually say, “no” and tell me stories about how often they talk to Grandma. They have some awareness that it’s not polite or respectful to beg. (I guess they make an exception to that rule when the person they are talking to is Mom!)

So they begin to get the idea that prayer is not about sharing a list of demands, couched as requests, for help. But I also want them to understand that whole idea of “distance.” If we don’t see someone very often, we don’t really know them. We may say, “Hi Grandpa. I love you.” But do we really? Knowing someone requires frequent contact and watching them to understand who they really are. Who is Grandpa? What kind of person is he? How does he think?

In a similar way, it may seem as if God is far away. And it may seem impossible to really know God. But we really can get to KNOW Him. It is possible. It requires several things.

God reveals Himself to us if we read the Bible. He reveals Himself to us if we study the life of Jesus and comments of the saints. He reveals Himself to us mostly especially during prayer. But prayer requires talking, listening and trusting.

St. Teresa of Avila was a great teacher about prayer. In a book called Conversations with Christ, the author, Peter Thomas Rohrback, summarizes Teresa’s practice for deeper prayer.

1. Beginning- Be aware of Jesus. He is here. Now.
2. Selection--Read a short passage about Jesus or visualize a picture of Him. Teresa often referred to the image of Jesus in the Garden or the Scourging at the Pillar. I find it helpful to SEE Him in my mind based on images I have seen.
3. Consider the Love of Jesus--Reflect on this image or the words to go deeper into the mystery and love of Jesus. Why is Jesus in the Garden, dripping with blood? What does it mean?
4. Conversation--Converse with Our Lord. Offer adoration, praise, express sorrow, love, thanksgiving. Then be quiet to LISTEN.
5. Conclusion—Reflect on this time of prayer. Offer thanks. Dedicate yourself to greater focus and attention.

The author describes a process of coming back to Jesus frequently throughout the day. This can be done by short repeated phrases or prayers. O my Jesus, help me. Our priest says often, “God is good.” A friend says, “Thank you Jesus.”
My young Sunday School students may not really grasp all of this. But I hope to get them thinking about HOW they talk to God. And HOW will they get to KNOW HIM. We don’t have to rely only on formalized prayers.

My neighbor told a story about being hospitalized. She asked if they would give her a thicker gown, so the nurse found a heavy green one. Lillian went down the hallway to stretch her legs. A man in another room thought she was a nurse and called out, “Could you pray with me?” He was a tough, working class fellow. Lillian talked out loud to God on the man’s behalf. She used her own words and talked to God as a trusted friend.

Awhile later the hospital chaplain tracked her down. He said the man in that room told him, “The lady in green prays better than you.” He wanted to know what she did.

Lillian said, “I just talked to God in my own words. You don’t need to open up a book and read. That man just wants you to give him permission to talk to God from his heart.”

Be Alone with The ALONE

I came across this phrase and it seemed to shoot an arrow in my heart. “Be alone with the Alone.”

God alone created everything.

God made everything in heaven and earth out of nothing, and “He saw that it was good.” Yet He was still alone.

He made man in His won image and yet humans turn away in their arrogance. He is still alone.

When Jesus left His Power and Glory in heaven, in order to come to us and be like us, we still left Him...In the Garden, He was alone.

When He hung on the cross, He carried the whole weight of the world’s sin. Alone.

When we pray to Him and wait with Him in the Silence of the Alone…then and only then, do we join Him.

No one can do this for us. It is our task…alone.

So now is the time to be alone with The Alone.

Spiritual Fitness: This is the Time

We hear a lot about physical fitness in the media. People seem to recognize the importance of a regular workout. I try to run for 15 minutes every day because it gives me more energy. But there is another kind of “workout” that is far more important. Unfortunately, it gets no press. There is no “Biggest Losers” TV show about spiritual fitness. But there should be. Those who neglect their prayer life may very well be “the biggest losers.”

Spiritual fitness is a process of tuning into the silence of the heart in order to connect with God. It’s not easy. I read somewhere that cultivating an interior life is “rarified air.” That image makes me think of a room that has been closed up for so long, even the air feels stale. Our world is so noisy and demanding, even a drive to the store isn’t quiet. The phone buzzes. The children squabble. The road signs blaze with messages. Quiet. Where do you find that?!

But that step of finding some quiet time is only opening the door of the gym. It’s the very basic first step. Lots of people open the door, but seem to change their minds and shut it again!

The real “exercise” begins in the quiet of the heart. And part of that exercise is to try and keep quiet on the inside. The mind is so full of chatter.

And talking to God isn’t easy because we have ignored Him for so much of lives. We’ve forgotten how to even get started. God seems at first to be very reclusive…actually, we are the ones who have tried to hide from Him. So it seems hard to start. We look to old prayers and they seem dry.

But that’s OK because God wants “us.” Not the stuff we like to put between us and God. The prayer practice of St. Teresa of Avila appeals to me. She tells us to call to mind an image of the life of Christ. Jesus with the children. Jesus healing the blind man. Jesus in the Garden, sweating blood. Jesus meeting His mother on the road to Calvary. Jesus meeting His disciples who don’t recognize Him after the Resurrection.

After we call to mind an image, we can reflect on what it means for us. Why is it important? What does it teach us about Jesus? Why did He come to earth, leaving behind His heavenly glory? We must seem pretty lowly to Him…and yet He loves us. And His love is not a collective, generalized “yes I love all of you.” His love is personal. He loves me in all my unworthiness. Wow!

Then we can praise Him. Thank Him. Love Him. After that it is time to be quiet in His presence. He is near. He is here. Be with Him.

I asked my son to try this and told him to see the word “Jesus” if he couldn’t see an image of Jesus. Eventually, what he saw was a blue flame. A flame of love, burning away everything else.

I tend to come back to the image of Jesus in the Garden. Because He was human, He knew fear. He knew the pain and the heavy load of sins that He would carry. And for a moment He may have wondered if there wasn’t someone else who could do this. Couldn’t it happen a different way? He gave this question to the Father. And then the load was lifted. There was peace. He surrendered to the Father’s will.

Peace. That’s the gift of Spiritual Fitness. The load is lifted. The burden is light because we are doing God’s will and God is lifting us up.

So, here’s the pitch for this fitness program: On the one hand there is the inevitability of Hell if we neglect God…And on the other hand, there is the great gift of peace that comes when we pay attention to Him!

Open the door…and begin. He is near.

God is Watching Over Us

I let the pigeon fly free. We have two of these birds--given to the children as pets. And the pigeons have been living behind a divider wall inside the chicken coop. But I worried that they needed more space and opportunities to really fly. So one day, when my son had tucked them in his jacket to keep them warm, I told him he could let them fly outside the chicken coop. One of the birds flew high and far. She was impossible to catch. The other returned quickly to the safety of her enclosure.

The pigeons are like children. Some like to play it safe, eager to follow the rules. But others are risk takers, always testing the limits and boundaries of family life.

"A member of our family is missing?" my husband said with moist eyes after I admitted that I let the pigeons fly free and one of them hadn’t returned. My husband is a worrier. He went outside in the cold wind and stood by the chicken door, hoping the bird would come nearby and he could personally welcome it home.

I had assumed the bird could find its way back through the various holes in the coop. But my husband didn't believe it. As the day wore on, he was convinced the bird would be dead within hours, attacked by other birds or dashed to the ground by the now fierce wind. As our family watched from the windows, we spotted our bird with its distinctive markings, trying to get acquainted with other pigeons. They seemed to attack her. Our bird was chased out of trees and off the telephone wires.

And so we prayed for the pigeon. "What else can we do but pray?" I asked my husband. He looked over his glasses with an accusing stare. "Not let them out in the first place. That would be a start," he said. But once a thing has happened, prayer is an answer.

Why do we minimize it? Prayer is a great answer!

I prayed that the children’s pet would be safe. And I prayed that my husband would forgive me if my impulse to give more freedom, caused the bird's death.

That afternoon, when I went out to feed the animals, the wind was so punishing, there were no birds anywhere in sight. I wondered where they all hide when the weather is bad like this. Our yard is normally filled with sparrows and blackbirds and pigeons.

I went to the chicken coop, ready to admit it--the worst had happened. That's when I heard cooing. I looked behind the wall. Both pigeons were there! And they were climbing all over each other--happily saying, "You're safe. You're home. All is well."

My husband continues to playfully repeat, "There is a bird missing."
In a way, he is acknowledging that when a family member takes a step toward independence they take a part of us with them. He was also acknowledging in his playful way that I was right to have faith in the bird's ability to find her way home. And, it is important to trust in God who said He watches over everything, even the little birds.

But my husband's words, "A bird is missing," are also a reminder to me that we parents need to find a balance between supporting our children as they try out new things, and keeping them safe. They need both the boundaries and the options--the parent who would give them freedom to explore, and the one who would guard them.

And they need our prayers for those times when we can’t be present. Our children need their heavenly Mother to watch over them at all times.

Let us pray, "Mother Mary, guide our children as they explore the world. Be with them to keep them safe and show them how to live a life saying 'YES' to God."

Silence in the Heart

I was reading an old text that recommends “silence in the heart.” Saint Diadochus of Photice, a bishop of the fifth century, said our mind should be like still waters. Then we can see the pollutants (temptations) and recognize “the fish” (grace).

It sounds wonderful. Such great advice. But it seems impossible to achieve in this modern era, especially in busy houses with children. How is this possible?

Today, for example, there is no school because snow has enveloped the state of New Mexico. And the children have important projects to do which means lots of interruptions for questions. And the barnyard animals are struggling with the severe cold so we are going outside more often to bring warm water. And I have a big editing job due soon. And the living room is a mess because of all our projects. And the kids eat all day long so the sink is full of dishes…

And…And…And. You get the drift. Chaos reigns.

Silence would be wonderful. But I don’t suppose St. Diadochus meant it would be easy to achieve. In fact, he says we need the assistance of the Holy Spirit and a persevering nature.

So here is my plan to still the waters of my soul. For whatever it’s worth, maybe it will help someone else.

1) Discipline. Getting up just a bit earlier means there is time for quiet prayer.

2) Repetition. It’s possible to repeat simple prayers over and over to drive away the distracting thoughts and temptations. “Jesus, Mary and Joseph, help us.”

3) Holy Spirit Help. The Holy Spirit comes into our hearts with a simple invitation.

4) St. Michael Help. St. Michael drove Satan out of heaven. He is a good protector.

5) Breathe. Breathing puts us back in our bodies and helps achieve stillness.

6) Study. Reading the Bible or other spiritual material opens the heart to long for Jesus.

7) Pray. It’s like a corridor to heaven!

8) Sacraments. Frequent reception of the Eucharist is a gift. We make room in our hearts for Jesus.

Come Holy Spirit. Into the troubled waters of my soul you come. Bring silence. Help me to calm my mind so there is room for You.

Rise Up My Soul and Give Glory to God

Now that we have two teenagers in the house, (well one is 15 and one is 11, but she acts like 16!), I read the article with interest. It was about how to reach young people to encourage deeper prayer and faith. That’s always a topic that gets my attention.

The author of the article advised that we reach our young people by joining them in the culture…to reach them through their music, their technology, their texting language, their games, etc.

Whoa! Not again! This is a frequent message delivered to modern parents. As if we don’t already have enough to do. We are supposed to keep up with whatever is new and enticing. We are told the world, and the worldly, is where our children live. But that assumes two things:
• First, it implies that all our young people fully embrace the mainstream, consumerist culture and that is all they understand. (I’m sorry, but that degrades them.)
• And second, this implies that our young people won’t listen to us if we ask them to step outside the culture. (Again, that idea is degrading to young people.)

I beg to disagree.

First, not all young people are as enamored with the bombardment of truncated language and flashing screens as some would have us believe. At our house we have one of each. Our daughter, age 11, is certainly fascinated with all technology. But she is increasingly recognizing that it mustn’t become an “idol.” And our son, age 15, has no interest in technology except as a tool to update sports statistics!

Young people can and should be made aware that technology can only play a limited role in our lives. It may seem appealing to communicate in ever faster ways, from email to networking, to twitter and texting. But “faster, faster, faster” can be simply an addiction to adrenalin! And the reduction of language to “LOL” is not only unnecessary; it degrades the essence of communication. Least we forget, the purpose of communication is about sharing and bringing about “community,” which comes from “unity”, which is a godly principle. We are one Body, in the one Lord.

Second, we as parents are responsible for the moral and spiritual health of our children. Therefore, we must challenge them to join us in an otherworldly place. Let us call them to higher realms beyond the press of “buy, buy, faster, faster.” The place of the Word and the truth about Jesus is deeply meaningful. And meaning is what we all long for.

Of course, I admit that I went on a long detour into worldly ways as a young adult. But the foundation I received in childhood always called me back. It beckoned to me until I remembered and paid attention.

As a child, my mother insisted we say the rosary every night on our knees. Mom insisted we should do regular volunteer work to recognize our role in helping others. We were “deprived” of every new thing that came along, but we had instead, a powerful sense of family as a result of these things.

I remember vividly, the time we were in the car, driving to the hospital. My brother had an infected hand and the doctor said surgery was required. Mom led us in prayer the whole way there. And, miraculously, by the time we arrived, the redness was fading and no surgery was required.

That image, of prayer and family, is far more powerful than any image of the current cultural fads. I have no memory of the things we didn’t have that other kids had.

My husband Jurgen likes to remind us often that we are called to “Capture every straying thought and turn it toward God.”(based on 2 Cor. 10:5)

It’s easy for all of us, both teens and adults, to let our minds drift into images and thoughts based on the world of “stuff” that clutters our lives. But it is possible to take control of our minds and hearts.

And when we do that, as parents, we can challenge our children…Let’s ask them to Rise Up. Give Glory to God. And then go forth as disciples. (And communicate with our voices, using sentences and body language to bring about true community!)

That’s the parenting I grew up with. And that’s the advice I want to live by.