Judge Not? Is that Really What we Are to Do?

By Judith Costello

The priest who gave a Mission talk at our church talked about the whole issue of "judgment." It was helpful to me as I read the online discussions among Catholics about Fr. Guarnizo from Washington, DC. He’s the one who withheld communion from a Buddhist lesbian activist. The woman introduced herself and her lover to the priest before Mass, making their status clear. The priest explained to the entire congregation the conditions for reception of communion at a funeral Mass and apparently he had something of a conversation with this woman as well while they were in the sacristy. But the woman still felt she “deserved” to receive the Eucharist. When the priest quietly refused it, she went to a different line and received communion anyway. Then she went to the press to make life difficult for this priest.

Many of these kinds of situations remind me of family life. God gives us families as a microcosm of society so we can learn to make judgment calls like this priest was forced to make.

I remember a situation that happened to me. I was living in sin with a boyfriend, and I brought him home to meet Mom. Should she have said, “Well it’s not my job to judge. The Bible says ‘judge not, lest you be judged.’ So I’ll just give you one bedroom since that’s what you choose.” Would that have been the right the thing to do?

Well my mom didn’t think so. She said, “You may be living together, but not in my house. I won’t have that here. Here are two bedrooms. I expect you to sleep in your respective bedrooms alone.” She couldn’t change my lifestyle outside of her house. About that she was praying hard. But she certainly had a moral obligation to hold me accountable while in her house.

We can't condemn the souls of others. The state of their relationship with God is none of our business. That’s what the Bible passage means. But that is totally different from telling a child, "Don't do that. And what you just did was wrong." We as Catholic parents are morally obligated to tell our children they are living in a state of sin if they move in with a partner.

We should be gentle. We should accompany any correction with lots of prayer. God will move the soul to conversion. But we are called to be a light to the world, a voice for Truth.

As a priest, Father had a moral obligation to point out to this woman that she couldn't receive communion since she was introducing him to her active lifestyle without contrition. Had she not announced this to him, he says he would “assume good faith when a Catholic presents himself (herself) for communion; like most priests I am not at all eager to withhold communion.” But given that she announced her lifestyle and was not a member of the parish, Father was acting as any priest should. And as any "parent" should.

Too many of us say, "Well my friend is going in for an abortion, but I don't want to judge her. So I’m not going to say anything." Certainly if we hear about this after the fact, we can’t say, “You’re a sinner.” But we could say, “If you need someone to talk to about having made that decision, I’m happy to talk. I can also refer you to someone for counseling.”

We don't judge the state of her soul, but we do point out the immoral. To not act, when we have the opportunity, when a door is opened for conversation—that is sinful.

Sadly, we live in wishy-washy times. According to the world, there is only "my truth and your truth." I remember hearing that in school. It was what I believed back when I was living with that fellow I brought home to Mom. I wanted to define “right and wrong” for myself.

But my mother did the Right thing. Her ultimatum, “If you want one bed, you can’t sleep here,” made me embarrassed. But it was the challenge I needed to hear. And her constant prayers were what turned my life around.

We have an obligation to speak on behalf of God’s law within our circles of influence. And that will make a difference. Let’s pray for Fr. Guarnizo and all those involved in that situation. Father has been removed from priestly duties in response to his action. From the information available, that seems very wrong. So we will pray for our whole Church that our bishops and Cardinals will stand up against the pressures of the world that would re-define family.

Let us pray…and speak out.

This is a link to Fr. Guarnizo’s explanation of what happened: http://cnsnews.com/news/article/father-marcel-guarnizo-i-did-only-thing-faithful-catholic-priest-could-do

Silence in the Heart

I was reading an old text that recommends “silence in the heart.” Saint Diadochus of Photice, a bishop of the fifth century, said our mind should be like still waters. Then we can see the pollutants (temptations) and recognize “the fish” (grace).

It sounds wonderful. Such great advice. But it seems impossible to achieve in this modern era, especially in busy houses with children. How is this possible?

Today, for example, there is no school because snow has enveloped the state of New Mexico. And the children have important projects to do which means lots of interruptions for questions. And the barnyard animals are struggling with the severe cold so we are going outside more often to bring warm water. And I have a big editing job due soon. And the living room is a mess because of all our projects. And the kids eat all day long so the sink is full of dishes…

And…And…And. You get the drift. Chaos reigns.

Silence would be wonderful. But I don’t suppose St. Diadochus meant it would be easy to achieve. In fact, he says we need the assistance of the Holy Spirit and a persevering nature.

So here is my plan to still the waters of my soul. For whatever it’s worth, maybe it will help someone else.

1) Discipline. Getting up just a bit earlier means there is time for quiet prayer.

2) Repetition. It’s possible to repeat simple prayers over and over to drive away the distracting thoughts and temptations. “Jesus, Mary and Joseph, help us.”

3) Holy Spirit Help. The Holy Spirit comes into our hearts with a simple invitation.

4) St. Michael Help. St. Michael drove Satan out of heaven. He is a good protector.

5) Breathe. Breathing puts us back in our bodies and helps achieve stillness.

6) Study. Reading the Bible or other spiritual material opens the heart to long for Jesus.

7) Pray. It’s like a corridor to heaven!

8) Sacraments. Frequent reception of the Eucharist is a gift. We make room in our hearts for Jesus.

Come Holy Spirit. Into the troubled waters of my soul you come. Bring silence. Help me to calm my mind so there is room for You.

Elevating the Ordinary

They were simple words and ordinary gestures. Yet, these four moments in time were transformative. It reminds me that God can take the smallest offering we might make and turn it into something miraculous.

Every action we take can either glorify God—or do the opposite. I think that’s what St. Paul meant about, “Take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Cor. 10:5)

But back to those simple moments of transformation!

The first example: I was a strayed Catholic for over 25 years. But one day my husband and I entered a Catholic Church thinking we might send our young children to Sunday School there. The choir began singing, “Come back to me with all your heart…” The words are from the prophet Hosea. It wasn’t sung by a magnificent chorus…just simple words and a simple melody. But in that moment God came and tapped on the door of my heart. He used that choir to reduce me to tears. I imagine they sang it as if it were just any old song. Certainly they knew nothing of the small miracle happening in the pews. But their efforts led to a transformation.

Example 2: Several years later, the children and I went to a communal penance service. Peter, 11, was tired and sore after an intense football practice. He didn’t want to be at church. But, as the priests processed out to go to their places after being introduced, a Franciscan Friar of the Renewal made himself known to us. Fr. Robert, with small, half closed eyes, and a round smiling face, tapped Peter on the head. He chuckled and pointed to the back of church. “That’s you on the painting back there,” he said.

Peter had been my model for a banner about Jesus blessing the children. The friendly friar recognized him in the artwork, in spite of his eye impairment. When Peter went to see him for confession, the friar called Peter a “leprechaun”. He challenged Peter to spend ten minutes a day reading the Bible! It was a big request and not meant as penance but spiritual direction. Peter rose to the challenge and has been reading the Bible almost every day for four years now! It was Fr. Robert’s inner vision that guided this transformation.

Example 3: Jurgen and I could hear the children playing a game in the living room. “It’s done this way.” “No. That’s not in the rule book.” Jurgen hurried into the room to put an end to the bickering. He ordered the children to put away the game. When Brigit spoke up in disbelief, Jurgen sent her to her room.

I know. You’re thinking this doesn’t sound like a moment of Godly transformation. But that’s only the beginning of the story...

Jurgen realized he had overreacted. So, he explained to the children the importance of acting kindly toward each other and then allowed them to take the game out again. A few minutes later they were playing and laughter filled the air.

Jurgen walked out to the living room with his hands on his hips. His eyebrows were lowered. He looked furious. “There is way too much laughter out here. If you’re going to keep laughing, we’ll have to take this game away.”

When the children realized he was joking they laughed even harder. It was a moment of joy. I was the one who was transformed. I witnessed a different way of helping the children learn and grow.

Example 4: During the weekdays at church, there are few people in attendance. But our new priest still delivers short sermons. On this day, my daughter and her friend were altar servers. Father said he was going to address the sermon to them. He turned from the ambo and looked directly at them. His sermon was about performing at 100%. “Don’t just do your work to get the grade, forgetting the content of your studies. Dedicate every project to God and give it your all. Then we are glorifying God. We are thanking Him by our actions. That is what it really means to earn 100%.”

Brigit absorbed everything the priest said. She came home and created a poster about it. She brought it to church the next day after putting it in an envelope marked, “Feedback on your sermon.” Father had touched deeply.

But the rest of Father’s sermon is really what this essay is all about…

The reading of the day was on the miracle of the Loaves and the Fishes. Jesus could have fed the people with a simple blink of His eyes. Instead, He asked the disciples, “What do you have?” They brought Him everything they had access to. It wasn’t much and they surely couldn’t see how it would be useful.

Still, the followers of Jesus did their part. And God made a miracle happen. Such transforming miracles happen every day. The credit goes to God. But the simple actions of trust and goodness are our responsibility.

It’s time we paid closer attention to the command, “Take every thought captive for Christ.”